Blended Families

Our choice to remove ourselves from raising, guiding, nurturing, and parenting our children, does not relieve us of the responsibility. – WDO

“Blended” …to combine two or more independent elements, with the intent of creating one harmonious mixture. – WDO

“Family” …a close relationship of individuals, typically inclusive of shared living environments; most often having biological similarities. – WDO

“Blended Family” – A combination of two or more individuals, with the intent of creating one harmonious relationship, typically inclusive of shared living environments; not having biological similarities. – WDO

Blended Families do not have the stigma in present times as they were in the past. The “family” formerly known as “Step”, has transitioned to a new persona known as “Blended.” “Step” did not have to create for itself a negative connotation, but it evolved because when new Dads, Moms, and Families stepped in, they often did not give the best effort to “blend.”

Truthfully, everyone started in a Blended Family. Blended Families are typically combined of individuals who have no biological relationship. Thus, when a couple marries to create a family, they are not usually biologically related, concluding that a newly married couple is a Blended Family of their own. A non-biologically related couple blends their individual lives together and, through procreation, a child is created as a biological by-product of their blending. Continued procreation creates more biological by-products, who are siblings of one another…. sisters and brothers, a family. Now since we see that everyone comes from a blended family, it’s easier to accept.

The most famous step-parent and blended family is a charming couple of long ago…Joseph and Mary. Our present societal lens defines Joseph as a Step-Father to baby JESUS. Not much is written about Joseph, but it is evident that Joseph was involved in JESUS’ life from the beginning, beginning. Hearing of Mary’s pregnancy, Joseph sought to put her away privily. A pregnant, unwed Mother in Mary’s day was a great stigma that could have led to her death. Joseph “…being a just man…” loved Mary and sought to honor her by not making her a public example (Matthew 1:19). In today’s terms, Joseph did not want to “put her out there.” Joseph did not want to embarrass Mary.

Joseph wed Mary and worked diligently to take care of his now pregnant wife. Required to travel cross country for the census, Joseph sought desperately for a suitable place for Mary to give birth. More so, Joseph honored Mary, and GOD, so much that he withheld having any sexual relations with her until after JESUS was born. Upon hearing GOD in a dream, Joseph relocated his family to Egypt to escape the horror of death instituted by Herod upon all children in the land who were 2 years old or younger. Afterwards, Joseph, following GOD’s instruction, moved his family back to their land and roots.

Joseph was a carpenter. JESUS was a carpenter. It leans to reason that JESUS learned his earthly trade from his earthly father, Joseph. There are other examples of Joseph being very present in the lives of his family. Joseph endured the challenges of familyhood, worked diligently to love and provide for his wife and family, and gave himself to honor GOD.

Blended families are what we choose to make it. Several months ago, our non-profit hosted an Etiquette and Healthy Cooking Camp for about 50 youth, ages 7 to 14. As the time approached for each class to prepare their own 3-course meal, I announced to them that “If your food tastes bad, it’s your fault.” We were not going to allow them to present unsafe food, but we were going to allow them to make minor mistakes, so they could learn and grow. The taste of their food was dependent upon them following instructions and asking questions…asking for help.

Since we seemingly know everything, we don’t need to follow instructions of how to blend and develop a family; we don’t need to ask questions nor ask for help. We good. We straight. Truth is…We wrong…very.

Blended Families can become a beautiful, succulent, delicate, and rich evolution of developing relationships; a collage of beautiful colors, creating a most exquisite dish of “flavors” that we’ve ever experienced. Blended can be Beautiful. It’s a choice. It’s work. It’s very possible. And…it can well be yours.