Crushing Moments

Your Response Matters

There has been distractions in the very essence of men’s emotions that has literally crushed the life out of them. We speak of what is happening across the country to the fathers in society. We’re asking ourselves what are some of the factors that draw the line in the sand concerning the fatherless community. I state it as a community, because this epidemic is in every ethnic group across the world. The thing is, that these moments of crushing in your life either push you to greatness or drown you in a sea of disappointments. As a society, we talk about the man and his lack there-of, being present as father, but sometimes we don’t even realize the journey that brought this man to his breaking point. The journey that many take isn’t always based on the decision they wanted to make. Sometimes it was made for them and they didn’t know how to respond or deal with the circumstances that surrounded them.

The intellectual parts of this beautiful mind can still be baffling at what life has the ability to throw at you. Im listening to life stories of men that grew up in different areas of the world, country, and neighborhoods, and families and realize the common perspective is they feel pressure to be what they were never taught to be… men! As a reflection on what’s going on in the hearts of the strong men….they get weak and understand that its almost baffling or considered famine to say I’m weak. We have built up a wall called EGO! Once that wall has been built up it takes years to dismantle that. One day I was praying years ago and was asking hard questions I never asked before to myself. One of the questions, what do I bring to people lives except for what I do for them? As I sat there and pondered on that question, the more I pondered the lower I felt. I literally said to myself what is going on here. I feel this heaviness almost like depression was trying to creep in, because I was allowing my inner thoughts to overtake me at that moment. As a man thinketh so is He (Proverbs 23:7 KJV). I then knew I had to change the way I was seeing myself to come out of a slump. Im fortunate I had the foundation to help push me up, but after speaking with several men they didn’t have the same opportunity. You may say not every man is down and out and having emotional issues and feeling depressed. You are absolutely correct! But every man has had a crushing moment that has defined the direction they must take in life. The sad thing is some of us are still fighting trying to grab onto the understanding of that. What am I suppose to do with myself? Based on your situation or circumstance you may take the next convenient thing that presents itself to you. Drugs, pornography, sex, work, sports, other women and many other things become substitutes for a high that’s needed to take the mind and thoughts off of present tormenting factors. This situation has become staggering to where even suicide has increased in its percentage in the last couple of years to men after the age of 40. It is 3xs more likely for a man to commit suicide than a woman. Depression begins to take over causing symptoms of often being irritable, showing signs of anger and hostility. You start to see behaviors of individuals that's taking more risk than before. Try hard avoiding into the cave! These moments of crushing can take you down a path (if you are not internally equipped to handle it) that can literally crush the life out of you. Alcohol & drugs has become seemingly a savior to some who just needed to get the edge off and out of that moment. Not really taking into account that that never had control once they partook of these substances. Which in return in some forms brought about social isolation. I can’t really understand the depth of some pain and seclusion because I’ve never had to personally grow or go through these situations. All I know is that in every age group of men some one is crying out for help and I asked myself let’s just start another conversation.

This conversation has been addressed by many men/women and profound authors that have given arise to questions that needs to be answered. One person came to me one time and said man I feel trapped. As I listened and listened and listened some more I teared up little after trying to put myself in their position, I felt great empathy. As he began to go in depth of the abuse that happen during his childhood, I knew that it had adverse affects on his mental stability and just which direction to go in life, he didn’t feel as confident and secure in his manhood. When you have people who are opportunist who take away the sanity and sanctity of your value! How do you over come and recover from that moment. I’m very sensitive to what’s going on around me in my environment to where I’m not judgmental as to what I see with my natural eyes until I understand the why, what, when , and where? The stance of why alcohol, drug abuse, and sexual addictions exist isn’t as foreign or far fetched anymore, because we now see what happened in the past has dramatic affects on the personality and outward actions of that man or that person. These moments are not as isolated as we tend to think. How you respond I this season will allow you to get a glimpse of how your outcome will be. Your crushing moment doesn't have to be your end moment!